sometimes canadian stereotypes piss me off but then i remember that a moose walked into a grocery store in british columbia and had to be lured out with an apple
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
Hey. If you haven’t eaten yet today, go fucking eat. Make some toast or something. Sprinkle some cinnamon on that bitch. Holla at some orange juice if you got it. Everything will be just fine today.
Tree struck by lightning caused the bark to explode, effectively stripping the tree
the worst part of creating an original character is figuring out their last name
I go through cemeteries and jot down the most interesting ones.
That’s actually a really good idea thank you
Me pretending to be in the Snuggie commercial ft. mom
This is someone dying while having an MRI scan. Before you die, your brain releases tons and tons of endorphins that make you feel a range of emotions. Tragically beautiful.
I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website
You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
blogging with a family member in the same room, i’m taking a big risk
*dentist slaughters family in front of you*
they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
i’d hate to be an actor in a movie where a dog dies because you know everyone would rather have you die than the dog
hey guys remember these things
i just lost a follower
it’s like 2008 just flashed before my eyes